About the Expert Insights Series: The success of families depends on many stakeholders coming together to understand and respond to the complex needs of families. With so many facets of family well-being and endless commentary on topics, it can be difficult for professionals to find the reliable, relevant information they need to make informed decisions and stay current on key issues.
That’s why we created the Expert Insights Spotlight. This is a space where we talk to trusted experts across the many fields that contribute to flourishing families. These conversations offer actionable insights and digestible advice for professionals, advocates, and anyone working to support family well-being.
Meet the Expert: Mark Yaconelli is a writer, retreat leader, community builder, spiritual director, and storyteller. He is the founder and executive director of The Hearth, where they believe in the transformational power of storytelling, and co-founded and served as program director for the Center for Engaged Compassion. Yaconelli is also an accomplished writer of books like, Between the Listening and the Telling and The Gift of Hard Things. He holds an MA from the Graduate Theolofical Union and a Graduate Diploma in the Art of Spiritual Direction from San Francisco Theological Seminary. In this discussion, Yaconelli highlights the power of storytelling and its ability to bring people together and create healing. He emphasizes the importance of listening and creating spaces where individuals can share their stories and feel seen and heard. Mark shares examples of how storytelling has helped bridge divides and foster connections.
“Story is the oldest form of healing… when someone listens to your story with compassion, it allows the pain to shift. Stories help us make sense of our lives. They build bridges between people, offering insight, empathy, and a sense of belonging.”
--Mark Yaconelli, Storyteller and Author
The Science Behind Storytelling
In a world overflowing with data, policies, and programs, it’s easy to overlook one of the most powerful tools we have for healing and connection: storytelling. Storytelling and listening is essential for strengthening families and communities.
Science supports that stories have the ability to change us. According to NPR, when we hear a story, multiple areas of our brain light up. Not only are we processing language, but we’re also mentally stepping into the storyteller’s shoes, feeling what they felt, imagining what they saw. It’s like a full-body experience.
Harvard Business Publishing, referencing entrepreneur Leo Widrich, explains that storytelling activates the same parts of our brain that we’d use if we were actually living the events being described. This is how empathy grows—by experiencing someone else’s reality as if it were our own.
Psychology Today adds that storytelling boosts emotional and social intelligence, both of which are key ingredients for resilience. When families share stories, they build the emotional foundation needed to support each other through life’s ups and downs.
Yaconelli sums it up beautifully: “When you tell a story, you're inviting me—it's an act of hospitality. You're inviting me to see the world, the way you see it and the way you've heard it and the way you've experienced it.” And when we listen—really listen—something shifts. Neuroscientists call it “transportation,” and it’s this shift that can move families and communities from disconnection to deeper understanding.
Using Stories to Bridge Division
Stories don’t just connect us—they can change the atmosphere in the room, even when tensions are high. Yaconelli shares a moving example from a school board meeting in a small town. The meeting had become a battleground between two opposing groups: conservative Christian leaders who wanted certain books banned from schools, and LGBTQ+ advocates fighting to keep them.
To ease the tension, Yaconelli invited people to break into small groups and tell a personal story about a time they felt like they truly belonged. As it turned out, the leaders of the opposing groups ended up in the same circle. Each shared a personal memory. And afterward? They looked at each other and said, “I could really understand the other person’s story. I’ve had a similar experience.”
These were the same people who had spoken harshly about one another online. But in that moment—through the simple act of listening—something softened. A bit of compassion came through. As Yaconelli explains, “If you could create settings where people told stories, that would create connection, empathy, and compassion, because it’s a natural way that we feel one another’s lives and connect to them.”
The Transformative Power of Story
For Yaconelli, storytelling is about more than sharing experiences—it’s about showing up with presence and building real relationships. He reminds us that,
“The stories we carry determine how we perceive one another and what possibilities we imagine for our families and communities.”
Whether through community circles, oral histories, or family conversations, storytelling creates space for truth and connection across generations and experiences.
He recalls a moment when a funder once asked, “How would you help a town become more compassionate?” His answer was simple: bring people together to share stories. That alone could create empathy, understanding, and healing—because it’s a natural human impulse to connect through the stories we tell.
Stories Humanize Issues
In public health and policy spaces, numbers often take center stage. But numbers can only tell part of the story. Without human context, data can feel cold or abstract. As Yaconelli says,
“Stories humanize the abstract.”
You can look at a chart showing the effects of housing insecurity on children. But it’s a different experience entirely to hear a parent describe what it was like to sleep in a car with their kids. That story brings emotion, urgency, and clarity that statistics alone can't deliver.
When we pair data with real-life stories, we unlock the potential for deeper understanding and better solutions. Stories aren’t just powerful on their own—they’re a catalyst for systems change when combined with research and advocacy.
Conclusion
At its core, storytelling helps us feel like we belong. It reminds families they’re not alone in their struggles or in their dreams. When we take time to listen across generations, backgrounds, and experiences, we grow closer. We build empathy, trust, and collective strength.
“Story helps us remember who we are,” Yaconelli reflects.
In a world where many families feel disconnected or isolated, remembering who we are, sharing who we are, and listening to who other people are might just be one of the most powerful acts of all.
NPR discusses the science behind storytelling, speaking to how different areas of the brain light up when someone is listening to narrative. Harvard Business Publishing: Corporate Learning adds to this idea by highlighting Leo Widrich, an entrepreneur and storyteller, shares research to suggest that when we hear a story:
“not only are language processing parts in our brain activated, but any other area in our brain that we would use when experiencing the events of the story are, too.”
Through activating these different parts of the brain, the listener’s expereince and understanding dig deeper, allowing the listener to be themselves in their shoes. Therefore, stories are essential in elevating facts and information.
Psychology Today speaks to how stories help build empathy and improve emotional and social intelligence, leading to resilience and a deeper understanding of others.