Soliciting Needs
Since being married, one thing that continues to astound me is how difficult it is to be vulnerable. As a single person, my thoughts and feelings were all my own. If I had a problem, I would simply pull myself up by my bootstraps and move forward. However, as my thoughts and feelings are now inextricably tied to the thoughts and feelings of my spouse, moving forward alone does not work as well as...
Read MoreProductive Anger
As a marriage counselor, I have found that couples frequently suggest that avoiding anger is the answer to strengthening a marriage. In response, I usually confess that I that I agree, but also disagree. I often pose this question: is anger bad? Many individuals would say yes. Anger might be blamed for any number of relational difficulties. Lack of communication may be traced back to anger. Anger...
Read MoreThe Road Less Traveled
Have you ever reacted to something offensive in an offensive manner? Have you ever yelled right back at someone for yelling at you? Sometimes I catch myself doing the very thing I wish people did not do. Sometimes I think, if I don’t respond in a certain way, they will not know how much I disapprove of their actions. Then, other times, when I am a little more calm and collected, I reason, their...
Read MoreA Heart Condition
Lately, I have been thinking about communication. I read an article by a Marriage and Family Therapist not too long ago that said communication was only a symptom of the real relationship problem – a heart condition. I think I agree. The author stated, “When hearts are soft people usually do not have a difficult time communicating.” This seems to compliment what was told to me over a decade...
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