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THE DILEMMA

“You can’t shake hands with a clenched fist:’ – Indira Ghandi

In the wake of a pornography disclosure or discovery, one of the greatest challenges is the intense climate of mistrust between husband and wife. The mistrust is often intensified by the feeling of crisis and the range of uncertainties that may surface, including the question of whether the marriage will continue. This climate of mistrust poses a threat to the success of therapeutic and spiritual work: Unless the woman can trust her husband to stop using pornography, and unless the husband can experience that trust from his wife (assuming he has stopped his pornography habit or is in the process of doing so), the relationship is at a serious impasse.