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STEP FOUR: DRAW UP THE CONTRACT AND CLARIFY ITS ROLE IN FOSTERING ACCOUNTABILITY
At this point, the contract is written up, dated, and signed, and copies are given to each parry, as well as to any leader or caregiver who is involved in the healing process. The role of the contract in fostering accountability is also outlined in this step. For instance, the possibilities of relapse and failure to comply with the contract are addressed during this phase. Couples are strongly encouraged to decide what needs to happen if the contract is breached by either of them. Husband and wife may have differing views on appropriate consequences. If they cannot agree on one consequence or response–which will likely be the case because different items will have different degrees of seriousness attached to them–then several responses may need to be included.
Because the Living above Suspicion Contract is intended as a mechanism of accountability, follow- up dates and renegotiation dates also need to be stipulated in the agreement. Follow-up sessions will involve meeting with the mediator to discuss progress or challenges; renegotiation dates are associated with specific contractual items that have time commitments on them. For example, if it is agreed upon that the computer will not be in the home for six months, a date will need to be set to reassess the usefulness of this action after the six month period.
It is important for the couple to understand that the Living above Suspicion Contract is intended to be a living document and that it should be used only as long as it is useful The contract is not a punitive measure or an outline of Herculean tasks for one or both to perform, but rather a mutually supportive arrangement that can help restore a level of safety and trust needed for open and honest discussion about why the pornography problem developed and increased.
In fact, couples are often surprised at how witnessing their partner’s adherence to the contract can make them feel more secure in the relationship, and they in turn are willing to renegotiate the time line of some of the contracted items. Although couples are encouraged to acknowledge the progress being made, it is important for them to avoid rushing this valuable process and to realize that the contract is only a catalyst for beginning the critical work of healing, not an end unto itself.
